So here it is. The last Xmas of the Noughties. Time for my personal Xmas message to all my subjects. I use subjects in the manner that you all have been subjected to my rants and whimsies over the past 12 months (some of you much longer).
Before this starts rambling off into one of those stupid Round Robins, I’ll just say that if you’re really interested in what I’ve done this past year you’re either …
- Blessed with way too much time on your hands
- You haven’t signed up to my Twitter account
- Obviously the agent of some nefarious government department looking to pin something on me
Yes, I’m paranoid. I might claim to have a right to be; after all, it’s been a bit of a hectic few years, but if you want to know the full story, keep clicking on the previous story links.
I did that just the other day and discovered some parallels, some differences.
I also discovered many missing images. That’s what you get for relying on other people’s pictures.
So now it’s Xmas Eve. You’ll notice I’m using the word Xmas. Before any of you hark on about taking the Christ out of Christmas, the X stands for Xristos – the Greek word for Christ – and was used by early Christians as shorthand for their fledgling religion.
And Xmas isn’t about Christ anyway. The Christian church hijacked the entire winter solstice festival when it tried to convert the pagan hordes. Early Church chiefs realised there was no way they could get the marauding heathern hordes to abandon the big bean feast designed to offset the gloom of a northern winter and make use of the wealth of food from harvests and autumn culling, so they simply dropped in another reason to celebrate – the birth of the Saviour.
The late Frank Muir described Xmas as a commercial festival with religious overtones. I like that.
Some people say it’s all for children, so why aren’t the kids invited to the office parties and Xmas drinks?
And why is the fastest turnover in the supermarkets on the drinks shelves? Yes, kids have a lot of fun at Xmas, but so do grown-ups too; that’s why new parents buy presents for newborns and pet owners get grand gifts for their non-plussed pooches and pussies.
The joy is truly in the giving.
Having said that, we haven’t done the “big give” for years now. It started when the Crunch really bit a few years ago. We figured that it didn’t make sense to spend precious time and money on presents that people didn’t really want. So we agreed to buy the one thing that each of us really wanted.
It’s worked well although it has slipped of late and a few “stocking fillers” have been bought.
But it’s Xmas isn’t it?
Well, we’re ready for it. All except the Christmas Radio Times that we waited just a little too long to buy. Festivities start later today with a now family traditional Fish Chowder (first concocted by Rabbi Lionel Blue) and a bit of the falling down water, to be sure.
I wish you all a Merry Xmas, or whatever you call it.
Stay safe, stay focused, stay happy.
And take a look at my Xmas Message to you all